Preserver (preserver3) wrote in luvs_confusion,

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The first

The first person I ever dated... This is an interesting one. I jokingly set aside my ideas to discuss the girl I played house with in pre-school, the girl who wanted to hold my hands in first grade, and the girl in High School, who I was too afraid to date, but we just held hands and tried to be friendly in secret and we ran around but never managed to have a real date, so we wouldn't have to deal with social stigma. The first girl I dated, would actually have been in college then. Isn't that depressing.

I was tempted to talk about my first big crush too, but she was too good for me, and let people know about it in High School. No, the first real date is what matters, and we never really did more than 2 full dates. She was a teaching fellow, and the way our dorms were situated, she was too easy to meet. We shared only the Scholars seminar together, but she was personable, and more out of her shell than I was. I had already started making overtures towards another girl, but this girl wanted to do something, and we kept meeting in the computer lab. She was neither thin nor plump; falling in the middle ground where I think anyone healthy ends up. She was innocent, had been sheltered in High school, and she was looking for a geek just like her. Our first date was at the kinda ritsy place that took our campus cards. I remember I had chicken alfredo that was a little overdone, I remember, because I hadn't learned about real eye-contact before then and the food was where my concentration focused.

She had dark brown hair, and probably still does. Her skin was smooth, she had freckles, and a smile that covered her face with dimples. We talked about classes and band of all things, and I learned a lot about her Disney collection. That was our second date, but more on that after I finish describing her. I don't think she wanted to teach really. Like many teaching Fellows, she was there for the scholarship. She had a bit of computer geek in her, and I remember her IM's were pretty creative--not aol, we used the campus instant messaging service, which had all sorts of geeky fetures for personalizing messages and even doing a little bit of geeky attack type stuff.

Is it bad that of all of the negative things I could say about her, the only real negative I could find to describe her was that she was short? At the time, I felt I was destined to marry an amazon and have giant children. I felt that taller was better, and that was just it. Not hard to believe from someone who is 6'3", but I also didn't know about the short lifespans of Great Danes at the time, so I didn't know that height wasn't everything. She had hazel brown eyes, and when we did talk about physical features, we both discussed how our eyes could change color during seasonal changes. She couldn't swim, which I told her was a big turn-off, she chuckled and those dimples just rippled across her features. It was really quite marvelous.

Our second date was watching Disney in her dorm room. We watched my favorite Disney movie from her collection, which was Robin-Hood, she picked it out and said it was her second favorite, following the Lion King. We never kissed, but we did hug. We saw each other a lot(but didn't date), and she soon was dating someone else pretty seriously, as was I. She left School early, and told me she and her beau were going to live together in her hometown, while she figured out what she wanted to do with herself--he needed to do the same. They were engaged to be married, and though the freshman fifteen had not been kind to her, she positively glowed with her happiness and I envied her future husband.

It's funny, she kinda taught me what not to do in dates. I dated several times over the years before settling down into long term relationships that finally petered out recently. I don't think I dated enough, even though I still can't figure out how I fit relationships and short dating sprees into my life up to now. It's weird, but I've often wondered if she married, and ended up having children. Some of them could be as old as 7, 8, almost 9 years old now if that's what she really did. Perhaps she was pregnant, and that wasn't the freshman 15. The glow I saw is very similar to the glow I've seen around the happy and expectant. Life will tell. I have a saying I like to use. God runs out of extras in this short life. It's my way of saying this is a small world. I expect to see her again, and I expect we can still be friends.
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