Meghan (oneoftheabove) wrote in luvs_confusion,

So...I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong, socially speaking. In my heart it feels right. That's all that matters, though, isn't it? update for those unbeknownst...

My boyfriend and I got into an all out brawl about a week and a half ago. Fists flying, screaming, etc. It ended rather...tragically. I punched him in the face about 5 times, he threw me into walls...I overdosed on xanax, because I wound up flashing back to times past where I used to get the shit knocked out of me on a daily basis...he wound up taking a swing at a cop and landing in jail...I wound up in the psych ward.

Where am I now?
I've identified my problems. He's identified his. We've spoken at great length about everything. We're both on our best behavior. I'm taking meds for manic depression, and I've quit drinking. He's cut back to drinking maybe once a week. He'll be attending anger management courses, and I'll be seeing a shrink.

I still live with him. I still love him.
I have no doubts, but people try to place them in me, anyway. And it sucks to think that you have everyones' support...but only if you do things their way.

I know they care. I know they love me. I know, in time, they'll see I've made the best choice for me.

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